Kate Krashes: Getting Real about Reality ‘Stars’ by Elizabeth Searle

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KATE KRASHES: GETTING REAL ABOUT REALITY ‘STARS’…by Elizabeth Searle

Are ‘Reality Stars’ really ‘stars’?  Maybe it’s more accurate to say ‘Reality Celebrities’– to cancel the expectation of shining talents that the word ‘star’ implies.  In other words: Why on earth did anyone think Kate Gosselin could dance?

Hollywood is full of actual actresses and performers who’ve trained for years to move onstage and who’d love a shot at Dancing With The Stars.  But of course, part of the appeal of a show like DWTS, as with much of Reality TV, is the cynical All-American fun of watching ‘ordinary people’ fail on camera.

Actually, Kate Gosselin held her own better than might be expected of a truly ordinary harried housewife who rose to TV ‘fame’ by parading her 8 offspring on camera and demonstrating her ‘talent’ for tying 8 pairs of shoes while quarreling all-too-realistically with her soon-to-be-ex husband (whatshisname, who tied with Levi Johnston here on our little blog for Disgraced Celebrity of Fall, 2009).

Just as unsurprising as Kate G. being bounced from DWTS are the reports that Kate and kids are ‘depressed.’  Is it any wonder that the rollercoaster ride of insta-(unearned)-’fame’ has left this talent-free family reeling?  There is no ‘there’ there.  Here on the Blog, we use the term Balloon Boy Celebrities: those who rise into view fueled only by the hot air of Attention Desiring Disorder, doomed to pop and vanish.

Not that Kate G. with her new show in the works is going away anytime soon.  Maybe this Mom’s biggest talent is the ability to stir up ratings-boosting controversy, with a large share of her audience openly disliking her.  How else to explain the Headline status of her entirely predictable DWTS flame-out?  Is the ability to inspire both admiration and annoyance enough to fuel a career these days?  WDYT?

(photos: justjarard.buzznet.com)

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INTUITION: It’s More Than Just a Razor (cutting-edge celebrity predictions by Caitlin McCarthy)

Caitlin McCarthy received her Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from Emerson College. An award-winning screenwriter at international film festivals and labs, McCarthy has two projects in development: “Wonder Drug” with director Tom Gilroy (“Spring Forward”); and “Resistance” with director Si Wall (“Angie” and “Marbella Nights”). In addition to screenwriting, McCarthy serves as an English teacher at an inner-city public high school. Please visit www.wonderdrugthemovie.com and www.resistancethemovie.com.

CAITLIN’S CELEBRITY PREDICTIONS FOR 2010

Caitlin sees a Cold Day ahead for Coldplay's Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow

I recently spooked some people (okay, just Elizabeth Searle!) with my off-the-cuff prediction in 2009 that Casey Johnson was heading for trouble this year. No one would have wanted to predict what happened to Johnson on January 4th, but when you live life in the fast lane, sometimes you crash and burn. (My condolences to Johnson’s loved ones — and, yes, that includes Tila Tequila. She’s cheesy, but she’s human.)

In light of this unfortunate prediction, Elizabeth asked me to share a few more (hopefully) harmless thoughts with you. Please allow me to preface my thoughts….

Caitlin weighs in on J. Lo's future-- and her see-thru one-sie...

Growing up, I remember Shirley Maclaine being chided in the press for her interest in new age spirituality and reincarnation. (One of my favorite Letterman moments is when Maclaine called him an “asshole” for mocking her.)  Dan Brown’s latest book “The Lost Symbol” takes Noetic Science very seriously, which has also triggered some giggles and eye-rolling from the peanut gallery.

I normally avoid broadcasting my “intuitive skills,” as certain people don’t believe it, make fun of it, or hit me up for a reading (usually at parties, which quickly kills the festive mood for me as the Greek chorus of “Do me next!” begins). I don’t do predictions for a living or even consider myself psychic. So, please, don’t call LaToya Jackson and sign me up for the Psychic Friend Network!

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DISGRACED CELEB. OF 2009 (& Zooey too…)

Will Zooey Deschanel be our Blog's 'Hit Girl' of 2009?

What a year it has been in the anals of Disgrace.  And now the time has come to pick Disgraced Celebrity of 2009.  On a lighter note, we’ve also been counting blog-hits and it looks as if our Hit Girl of the Year may well be Zooey Deschanel, star of our ‘It Girl’ post.  More on Zooey soon.

First let’s visit the Dark Side and our Race for Disgrace.  Not only did 2009 mark the birth of this Disgraced-Celebrity-Enabling blog, but the birth of a whole new mutant breed of Balloon Boy celebrities, who arrise out of thin air, talentless, bourne aloft by nothing more than high-octane cases of Attention Desiring Disorder.

Levi Johnston bares his armpit in PLAYGIRL

The Heenes, the Salahis, the (now ‘ex’) Gosselins.  From thin air they came and soon will vanish.  Then at the other end of the celebrity spectrum, we have the SuperStars who SuperStumble.  Take Tiger.

Will he join the likes of Disgraced Celebrity of the Summer, Sarah Palin, or Disgraced Dudes of the Fall, Levi Johnston & Jon Gosselin?

Chris Brown took an early lead in the year's Race for Disgrace

(All of these worthies, BTW, still eligible to take the year-end prize).  Don’t count out Chris Brown(right), Roman Polanski, Mark Sanford, Kayne West– & Charlie Sheen.

Cast a vote in COMMENTS, before they all fade into thinnest air. As wise woman Judith Podell wrote to us: “Tiger Woods in terms of magnitude of Fall From Grace, but Levi Johnston is so much more entertaining. On the other hand, there’s the Schadenfreud factor with Tiger…it’s been a good year.”

PS: To jog our memories, look at the year’s Celebrity Arrests…as well as Celebrity Shockers.  
PPS: Check out new FICTION by ANGELA STILL on our StarLit. page!
… (photos: Levi: blogzap2; Chris B.: justjared.buzznet.com; Zooey D: Blogtown & cbc.ca)

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Dueling Dudes of Disgrace: (& Tiger too?)

Breaking: The Celebrities in Disgrace blog readers have spoken.  And the ‘winner’(s) of Disgraced Celebrity of the Fall, 2009 are: a well-deserved TIE between Dueling Dudes of Disgrace,

JON GOSSELIN and LEVI JOHNSTON !

‘Congratulations’ in quote marks to Jon and Levi, who joins his almost-Mother-in-Law Sarah Palin in the anals of disgrace, since Palin ‘won’ Disgraced Celebrity of the Summer, 2009.

“Congratulations’ also to worthy runner-up nominees (all still eligible for Disgraced Celebrity of the Year) David Letterman, Roman Polanski, Carrie Prejean, Glenn Beck and Balloon Boy’s Dad (what WAS his name?  His 15 minutes are fast deflating…)

And what of last-minute surprise entry Tiger Woods (more on him soon!)  Do you agree with Harry Shearer that loss of privacy is ‘part of the deal’?

Act quickly, before our ADD-rattled minds forget the many notable disgraces this year has heaped upon us.  We will be taking votes all through December for Disgraced Celebrity of 2009. Meanwhile, let’s savor the double ‘win’ of Levi and Jon, each an exemplar of the Balloon Boy Breed of Celebrity in Disgrace: those who concoct their fame/disgrace from thin air…And eventually vanish into it.  Is it just me, or are we already at: ‘Jon who?’

(photo credits: TW todaysgolfer.co.UK; J & L ‘together at last’: showhype.com)

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Victor Newman Lives (But Soaps Face Death by Reality TV)

Let’s talk TV. Was anyone else sitting virtual vigil at the deathbed of Victor Newman, hero/villian of CBS’s top-rated THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS? Stellar writer and fellow Soap addict Suzanne Strempek Shea mourns A GUIDING LIGHT EXTINGUISHED in her excellent elegiac essay.

Sources now say Victor (aka Eric Braedon) really won’t walk out on his worldwide fans due to a pay cut. But with even top-rated Y&R forced to cut costs, with ratings in decline, Soaps face death by Reality TV. Maybe our endless supply of fresh ‘celebrities in disgrace’ is to blame. Are we all so addicted to real-life scandals we no longer thrill to made-up ones?

I for one can’t stomach Reality TV or revived game shows: too damn depressing. I can’t watch more than a few minutes without wondering queasily: who ARE these people? What Balloon-Boy-size case of Attention Desiring Disorder drove them to such extremes? Why is everyone following low-class real-life jerks like Jon Gosselin rather than classy larger-than-life jerks like Victor Newman? But maybe there’s something I’m missing in Reality-TV-land. Clue me in.

Which Reality shows do you watch?  Dancing With Stars? Real Housewives (I prefer the Desperate ones)? The new (do we really need a new) Let’s Make a Deal? What’s the fascination– and, Victor or no Victor, can Soaps survive?

PS: thanks to Caitlin for this cool link on Roger Thorpe on “Guiding Light” PPS: And thanks to Mark for further insight into fame-seeking/Attention Desiring Disorder.
photo: Eric Braedon, the one and only Victor Newman: NNDB.com

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