Posts Tagged ‘David Letterman’

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STARDOMFREUDE by Elizabeth Searle

If ever there was a symbol for undeserved fame and fortune, it would be talent-free ‘Reality TV star’/hapless heiress Paris Hilton.  Does this explain the fascination and even glee which greeted her latest all-too-predictable brush with the law?  ‘Oops, She Did It Again’– but why are we still watching?

No sooner does Lindsay Lohan get out of jail, then Paris is in.  And in the headlines.  What is it about blondes behind bars?  Author Jennifer Weiner recently coined the clever Twitter term ‘Franzenfreude’ for writers and others driven batty by the media coverage heaped upon Jonathan Franzen‘s latest novel.

I offer the term StardomFreude to cover those, like me, who follow with guilty fascination the antics of screwed-up stars.  Or the antics of those, like Paris, who become ‘stars’ by screwing up spectacularly.  A top online video of this week was conservative Arizona governor Jan Brewer blanking out in epic fashion in a TV debate, all brilliantly skewered by the great Gail Collins.

Meanwhile, Blog fave LupinsSuppins expertly captured another delicious instance of Stardomfreude snark in describing a Letterman joke about Paris: “Paris Hilton was arrested by Vegas police for possession of less than an ounce” [impeccably brief pause before classically deadpan finish] “… of common sense.”

Would this ditzy troubled heiress rate any headlines at all if she weren’t, sad to say, so fun to make fun of?  WDYT?

PS: like me, Sarah Palin just officially coined a word: ‘refudiate’….

(photos: nydailynews, buzztv, emtoast,com, topnews.in)

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From the Pope to Jesse James to Tiger’s umpteenth mistress, everyone under the celebrity sun is issuing ‘public apologies’ these days.

Blog favorite and screenwriter Caitlin McCarthy suggested asking: What are the best and the lamest celebrity apologies?  Caitlin’s own picks and pans:

My votes for best apologies include: Hugh Grant on “The Tonight Show”; Bill Clinton after the Monica episode; David Letterman when he came clean about his affair with a staff member; and Charlie Sheen for [insert seedy act here]. Sheen gets away with everything!!!

My votes for lamest ones include: Mel Gibson issuing a statement through his publicist after the sugar tits and “Jews are responsible for all the wars of the world” rant; Jimmy Swaggart crying uncontrollably;  and Ashlee Simpson after she got caught lip-syncing on SNL.

I agree with Caitlin that Letterman got through by staying straightforward and mixing in a modicum of honesty.  I’ll even give Jesse James cred. for the same in one line: “I deserve every bad thing that is coming my way.” For that line alone, Jesse J’s ‘public apology’ deserves a scarlet ‘A.’

Less convincing is Tiger Woods’ mistress Joslyn James posting multiple graphic text messages from Tiger on her website and at the same time issuing a ‘public apology’ expressing her  very deep concern for Elin Woods.

But Tiger Woods himelf seems to me to be improving his ‘apology game.’ While his press-conference apology felt a bit stilted and defensive, Tiger seemed more honestly chagrinned in his recent Golf Channel interview, in which he labeled his own behavior as ‘disgusting’ and allowed that what his deceased father would say about it all was probably not repeatable on TV.

Who are your picks and pans in this dark art?  And what’s your best advice to Aspiring Apologists?

(photos: ecorazzi.com, artoftalk.TV, kezi.com, examiner.com)

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Ever alert to celebrity trends, we note a new Sub-Celebrity Life Form raising its head above the boggy muck: Supporting Actors in Scandals who cash in on their roles for their own disgrace-driven 15 minutes.

Here on the blog, we use the term Balloon Boy Celebrity for those generally talentless celeb.s who rise from thin air and/or Reality TV to 15-minute fame before popping and vanishing. These celeb.s may create their own scandals but aren’t born from existing scandal sludge.

This new breed of ‘celeb.’ gain note/notoriety as bit players in scandals starring someone else.  Should they be deemed ‘Back-stabbers’? ‘Bottom-Feeders?’ What name fits the bill?

Last week alone, David Letterman’s Blackmailer was found guilty.  John Edwards Enablers Andrew Young and his wife found they face possible jail time.  (Does anyone understand why?  Because they ‘withheld’ the Edwards sex tape?  Shouldn’t they be thanked for that?)  In any case, they can pay their legal bills with new ill-gotten gains.  No, they didn’t find another Love Child to claim.

But Young– Edwards’ infamous ‘beard’ who claimed paternity of Edwards’ baby with Rielle Hunter— has come out with his side of the sordid story in THE POLITICIAN.  Plus, Eliot Spitzer’s former confidante– more an Onlooker than Enabler to Spitzer’s trainwreck– serves up his own scandal-saga book which Spitzer & co. denounce.

Who are your nominees for ‘Best’ supporting player in a scandal? Are there any I am missing or mentally blocking? And is there any hope of nipping this new blackmailing black-‘bearded’ breed in the bud?  (Note to Book Publishers: I personally know dozens of young authors more worthy of publication than Andrew Young…)

(photos: oxfordpress.com. improper.com, zimbio.com)

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IMG_0201Oh, how the mighty have fallen this fall, 2009.  Kanye West, Joe (You Lie) Wilson, Roman Polanski, Balloon Boy’s Dad, David Letterman, Levi Johnston, Steven Phillips: these are a few of the disgraced celeb.s who have ‘graced’ this fall’s Posts.

But surely there are others I am mentally blocking.  Help me out here.  Winter is approaching and with it the all-important Disgraced Celebrity of 2009.  Before we ponder who will face down Sarah Palin in our Celebrity Death Match, we must decide:

Who deserves the ‘coveted crown’ of Disgraced Celebrity for the disgrace-laden fall of 2009?

As you may recall, our Blog Readers in their collective wisdom already chose Sarah Palin as ‘Disgraced Celebrity of the Summer, 2009’.  But don’t forget her fellow nominees, the still imminently well-qualified Gov. (IS he still Gov.?) Mark Sanford, Ryan O’Neal, former VP Dick Cheney… The List goes on.  Now is your chance to throw into the ring the celebrated individual you feel ‘owns’ the Fall, 2009 field of Disgrace.  November is the month to vote; be a good citizen of our Celebrity Nation.  Post your nomination/vote/rant today!

PS: Thanks to both Libby and Jeremy for sending in this link on Celebrity Stalkers

PPS: Thanks to Caitlin for her TOP TEN LIST of Disgraced Celeb.s (see Comments)– and YES, in answer to an emailed question, feel free to send in as many nominees as you like throughout November!  Acts of exceptional disgrace that occur later can compete in Winter; the Disgraced Celeb. competition is ongoing…

PPPS: Thanks to Bill among others alerting me to LEVI & JON, TOGETHER AT LAST– a major historic/hysteric moment. L & J win a Dual Disgrace vote.

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Teen Choice Awards ArrivalsLevi Johnston and his revenue-raising nut ad/Playgirl pose; David Letterman and his ratings-boosting Mea Culpa.  The Fame/Disgrace line grows ever thinner.  Jon & Kate have no discernible talents yet their Divorce From Hell hogs headlines.  Is there any ‘disgrace,’ these days, that doesn’t pay?

JulianHeadshot 1The hero of my CELEBRITIES IN DISGRACE loses his virginity ‘on camera,’ and sex-texts his way into fame/disgrace in Bravo Sierra’s forthcoming film.  This Master of Disgrace will be played by super-intense JULIAN BRAND (see his photo here & his clips on Vimeo.)

I believe Julian will make ‘Daniel’ worth watching– but what about real-life celeb.s who are, as my Daniel puts it, ‘born of their own disgrace’?  Which scandal-stars do you bother to brake for?  Which do you wish would Get a Life Sentence, already?  When will the first Book Deal be signed for Letterman’s lovers?  Will Dave L. eventually pay a ‘price’?  When will Levi Johston–set to pose for Playgirl— wear out his welcome?  (Not before my Bristol Palin roman a clef is finished and printed, I hope!)  WDYT?

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Lesléa & Cher-gifLesléa Newman’s 57 books include the novel THE RELUCTANT DAUGHTER, the poetry collection NOBODY’S MOTHER and the children’s classic HEATHER HAS TWO MOMMIES. Currently she is the poet laureate of Northampton, MA. Visit her site at www.lesleanewman.com Watch for Leslea in Preview to A Good Whack.

photo:Leslea in line to meet Cher (in bangs); courtesy of author

It was sure to be the New York moment of a lifetime. Cher, singer of “I’ve Got You Babe,” “Half-breed,” and “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves;” Cher, wearer of those outrageous wigs and outfits; Cher, the first woman to show her belly button on TV (and to call David Letterman an a–hole, in public anyway); Cher, mother of Chastity and widow of Sonny (Mary Bono who?); Cher was going to be signing copies of her book, The First Time at the Barnes and Noble in Chelsea. It was just too good to be true.


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