Posts Tagged ‘John Edwards’

Update on the John Edwards verdict…Thanks to Lupins for info on John Edwards & the Alternate Jurors

John Edwards & Al Gore: Too Good to Be True by Elizabeth Searle

Once upon a time, two lovely smart Southern Belles named Elizabeth and Mary Elizabeth fell in love at tender ages with two smooth-talking Southern ‘gentlemen’ possessing good hair and grand political ambitions.

Both married their handsome hard-working husbands early and had multiple lovely children.  Both couples endured family tragedy, political ups and downs, Vice Presidential and Presidential campaigns.  Both Southern ‘gentlemen’ used their photogenic families to further their careers, very publically declaring their undying love for their longtime wives.

In both cases, the seeming fairytale marriages end with late-in-life splits.  Maybe this is not an altogether fair fairytale comparison:

After all, John Edwards went to court for his efforts to funnel campaign donations to his mistress.  In the case of Al and Mary Elizabeth (‘Tipper’) Gore, their mystifying mid-life split has been carefully shrouded in mystery as to motivation.

What we do know is that Tipper Gore, who has bravely acknowledged her struggles with depression and who did not seek out a public life, stood by Al Gore through four children and one of the worst, most grueling election dramas in history– in a race Gore lost in part because he scorned the help of ‘disgraced’ adulterer Bill Clinton (still at Hillary’s side all these years later).

Of course tongues are wagging now when Al Gore, 64, began publicly stepping out with wealthy environmentalist Elizabeth (that name again) Keadle– who had been in Gore’s circle since before his separation (still not a divorce) from Tipper.

Unlike Bill Clinton, who never pretended to be a paragon of virtue, Al Gore and John Edwards made their self-proclaimed ‘happily ever after’ marriages centerpieces of their political lives.  What’s the moral of these stories?

Voters and bright beautiful young women alike should beware of smooth-talking men who make public proclamations of love that seem, like the men themselves, too good to be ‘true.’

(photos: GoogleImages)

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Jesse James faces the Nation on Nightline for his requisite ‘What were you THINKING?’ interview.  Will he match the refreshing honesty of his Public Apology, in which he said, “I deserve every bad thing that’s coming my way.”  Stay tuned for James Watch updates.

Meanwhile, even I (whose own modest campaign contribution may have been ‘misused’) felt Sympathy for the Devil in reading that (according to the Enquirer, our nation’s Paper of Record on this particular trainwreck), John Edwards is understandably ‘terrified of jail’ and is desperately plea-bargaining with prosecutors who are applying ‘the screws.’  Edwards, the intrepid Enquirer assures us, will at least, at last, admit ‘some guilt.’

While I’m not hoping to see the thoroughly disgraced Edwards led away in chains, I’m not rooting for a Happy Ending for the equally disgraced but less accomplished Mark Sanford and his Argentinian paramour.  Sanford– in his usual TMI style– confirms that he and his erstwhile lover attempted to ‘reunite’ in Florida.  Here’s hoping the lady’s poolside reading was Jenny Sanford‘s Mark-bashing bestseller.

Another cad on the Comeback Trail is former NY governor Eliot Spitzer, who has made a second career as a TV Talking Head, scoring gigs on CNN, MSNBC and Colbert.  The smooth-talking Spitzer is allegedly under consideration to replace CNN’s Campbell Brown– who followed the Jesse James school of refreshing candor in her own Public Statement. Brown straightforwardly acknowledged that she wasn’t leaving her show to ‘spend more time’ with her family.

Campbell, in my book, deserves a Comeback more than any of these cads.  WDYT?  (And hey, how will Jesse do?)

PS: THANKS to JOHNNYCAKES for sending in this shocking link showing CNN at its worst

(photos: avagacser.wordpress.com, blogs.cqpolitics.com, freakingnews.com, babble.com)

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Are Divas ‘out’?  Is ‘Down-to-Earth ‘in’?  Mighty Tiger Woods lost the Master’s to ‘everyday guy’ Phil Mickelson.  Jon Stewart swoons over Obama’s economic advisor and possible Supreme Court nominee, the refreshingly down-to-earth Elizabeth Warren.

Meanwhile, the top two online videos last week showed the overexposed Tiger Woods faltering in his Master’s comeback and down-to-earth Tina Fey acing her own return, skewering over-the-top Sarah Palin on SNL.

BTW, Fey and hilarious ‘Everyman’ Steve Carell topped the box office last week playing an actually believable (if zany) everyday couple in DATE NIGHT.  Has recession-era America had it with glitzy glamorous demanding Divas?

Blog BFF and screenwriter Caitlin McCarthy spots a trend, writing:

Are divas getting downsized in this new era? Take a look at who (and what) has taken a hit recently and you decide:

  • Diva politicians like John Edwards
  • Diva religious figures like the Pope
  • Diva companies like the ones who helped create the Great Depression Part Deux
  • Diva countries like the USA (sorry, in the past, we’ve had that “Do you know who I am?” attitude with the world)
  • Diva terrorists like Osama Bin Laden
  • Diva athletes like Tiger Woods
  • Diva entertainers like Kanye West and Jennifer Lopez ….                                                                                                                         I think trendspotter Caitlin is onto something here…   (photos: atypicalamerican.com, nbc.com, nydailynews)

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Who knew that the latest crop of celeb. homewreckers would make Donna Rice look classy?As Jesse James’ alleged ‘fourth mistress’ issues a statement claiming he pursued her and had deep feelings for her, I’m missing No Excuses bluejeans.

Donna Rice, star of the Gary Hart sex scandal and later a model for the blatantly named ‘No Excuses’ jeans, at least didn’t ‘spin’ her seamy situation.

But every Mistress wants her 15 Minutes.  Blog fave and screenwriter Caitlin McCarthy sounded off on the strikingly unrepentent public remarks of such notable ‘other women’ as Rielle Hunter and busy Jesse James’ ‘first mistress,’ Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee:

“What is with all of these women who sleep with these married guys and then tell the press “I didn’t know he was married.” They all claim they thought there was trouble in the marriage, or the guy was separated from his wife. This slutty Greek chorus has been heard from tattoo girl Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (who supposedly got it on with Jesse James), all of Tiger Woods’ ladies, Rielle Hunter, ad nauseam. We know these women are stupid. But do these women think we the general public are stupid?

Michelle McGee’s ex husband claims the aptly nicknamed ‘Bombshell’ (whose porn porfolio includes Nazi-fetish shots) craves fame at any cost.

Meanwhile, as the irrepressible Bill Maher tells us more than we want to know about the Rielle/’Johnny’ sex tape, Rielle herself claims to GQ that she knew she could ‘help’ John Edwards and that (in her mind, having decimated his family, his noble cancer-ridden wife, his reputation and his future) she did.  Thanks, Rielle.

Monica Lewinsky was criticized for launching a line of handbags, a move that seems downright quaint compared to the three-ring-circus of Tiger Woods’ alleged mistresses competing for Reality TV gigs.  Joclyn James posts Tiger’s low-down graphic text messages but also aspires to the High Road by issuing an official ‘apology’.  You can’t have it both ways, girls.  No excuses, please.

(photos: People.com, dailymotion.com, postchronicle.com)

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Readers may disagree on who is more annoying: Maudlin John Mayer weeping and Tweeting his regrets for his racist and sexist Playboy remarks or Unrepentent Rielle Hunter, bragging in the new GQ about telling the very married John Edwards the night she met him, “You are so hot.”

co-winners Mayer & Hunter made their own beds

Screenwriter and blog friend Caitlin McCarthy first suggested combining the disgrace duo she dubbed ‘Mayrielle.’  The two garnered more votes than close competitors Eric Massa and John Edwards himself– as well as new contender Jesse James.

Our blog readers seemed to agree with Rielle Hunter’s own assessment that her bottomless cheesecake photos posed amidst her child’s stuffed animals in GQ were ‘replusive.’  Celeb.s Blog fave. LITOTES recalls seeing earlier photos of Rielle and wondering why John Edwards was ‘dating Rod Stewart.’ However, LITOTES finds a springtime silver lining:

But on the bright side, I can thank Rielle for two things: (1) Exposing John Edwards (in two senses)  (2) Bringing to mind the old joke about using lawyers as lab animals. There are some things rats won’t do.

Meanwhile, getting a headstart for Disgraced Celebrity of Spring, 2010, Jesse James and Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee face new ‘skinhead‘ rumors and are denounced by fans who feel that the lovely, funny and talented Sandra Bullock deserves better than Jesse.  James had said publically that Bullock ‘takes his breath away.’  Some of us hope she takes a lot more away from him now.

To give Jesse James his due on this disgraced-celeb.-enabling blog, his own public apology said it best: “I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.”

(photos: perezhilton.com, gather.com, anorack.com, deceiver.com)

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Winter officially ends on the 20th and with spring sunlight comes the heavy task of choosing DISGRACED CELEBRITY OF WINTER, 2010.  Who has ‘owned’ celebrity disgrace since the start of the new year?

Is it new contender NY Congressman Eric Massa, skewered by Jerry Seinfeld and Seth Meyer on SNL’s ‘Really’ segment for allegedly claiming mere ‘tickle fights’ with his male staffers and for managing to be ‘the crazy one on Glenn Beck’?

Or fellow New Yorker, embattled Gov. David Paterson?  Or worldclass disgrace John Edwards, finally owning up to the obvious in January and claiming Baby Quinn as his own?  Or John Mayer, whose malt-liquor-driven PLAYBOY remarks had him Tweeting for mercy?

And what of Tiger Woods, winner of our ‘coveted’ Disgraced Celebrity of 2009 trophy and star of the newest South Park, whose sponsor-sponsored apology felt too scripted to many?  Or does the prize more belong to Tiger’s many mistresses, cashing in en masse with a Miss Tiger Woods beauty pageant?

The Olympics was mostly marked by Gold Medals for good behavior, but Russian skater Evgeni Plushenko pouted publically about his Silver Medal.

Who gets the ‘Tarnished Gold’ on our blog?  Who am I forgetting in the 2010 Rogue’s Gallery?  Register your votes in COMMENTS and let the 2010 Disgrace Games begin…

(photos: dailytelegraph.com.au, todayfm.com, totalwarfiles.com)

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Ever alert to celebrity trends, we note a new Sub-Celebrity Life Form raising its head above the boggy muck: Supporting Actors in Scandals who cash in on their roles for their own disgrace-driven 15 minutes.

Here on the blog, we use the term Balloon Boy Celebrity for those generally talentless celeb.s who rise from thin air and/or Reality TV to 15-minute fame before popping and vanishing. These celeb.s may create their own scandals but aren’t born from existing scandal sludge.

This new breed of ‘celeb.’ gain note/notoriety as bit players in scandals starring someone else.  Should they be deemed ‘Back-stabbers’? ‘Bottom-Feeders?’ What name fits the bill?

Last week alone, David Letterman’s Blackmailer was found guilty.  John Edwards Enablers Andrew Young and his wife found they face possible jail time.  (Does anyone understand why?  Because they ‘withheld’ the Edwards sex tape?  Shouldn’t they be thanked for that?)  In any case, they can pay their legal bills with new ill-gotten gains.  No, they didn’t find another Love Child to claim.

But Young– Edwards’ infamous ‘beard’ who claimed paternity of Edwards’ baby with Rielle Hunter— has come out with his side of the sordid story in THE POLITICIAN.  Plus, Eliot Spitzer’s former confidante– more an Onlooker than Enabler to Spitzer’s trainwreck– serves up his own scandal-saga book which Spitzer & co. denounce.

Who are your nominees for ‘Best’ supporting player in a scandal? Are there any I am missing or mentally blocking? And is there any hope of nipping this new blackmailing black-‘bearded’ breed in the bud?  (Note to Book Publishers: I personally know dozens of young authors more worthy of publication than Andrew Young…)

(photos: oxfordpress.com. improper.com, zimbio.com)

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