Posts Tagged ‘Madonna’

As Madonna’s daughter Lourdes tries to curb her Mom’s partying, Erica Ferencik offers perspective  from Erica’s own witty wise new ebook HOT, NAKED AND AWAKE.

EricaFerencik photo 3.19.08ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Award-winning novelist, screenwriter and essayist Erica Ferencik is the author of the bestselling comic novel, Cracks in the Foundation.  Alex Beam of the Boston Globe says, “It’s hard to think of real estate without crying…Well, try laughing, instead. In Cracks in the Foundation, Erica Ferencik convinces us that comic reality is more hysterical than we ever imagined.” Her work has been featured in Salon, the Boston Globe and on National Public Radio. Her novel Repeaters, a thriller about reincarnation, was published to rave reviews and was optioned for a feature film. It received a starred Kirkus Review and was named to Kirkus Reviews’ Best of 2012.  Hot, Naked and Awake is her first collection of comic essays.
Madonna and Me and the AARP by Erica Ferencik


Everywhere, disco balls are being taken down, dismantled, sold at flea markets, their glittering little mirrors no longer reflecting: us. It is too triste. I am strangely nostalgic for bad relationships, flouncing about with huge hair on the dance floor, leg warmers and just a touch of cocaine. Can disco really be over? Now it’s kitch, retro, golden oldie material. In rest homes we’ll kick up our legs in our wheelchairs to Donna Summer, to Depeche Mode, to “Like a Virgin.”

madonna-looking-like-old-version-of-betty-davis I lay in bed thinking about Madonna, who also turned fifty when I did, and wondered if her re-re-re-invention wings were getting tired at all. I wondered if she’d started to study the obits like I do, to draw breath at the comparative youth of so many who die. I wondered if she inspected her body each morning for strange growths, if she vogued in the shower.

Will she ever get that gap in her smile filled? Does she really like yoga, or is she full of shit? Do her hormones race and surge, then suddenly retreat and hide like mine? Does she have skin tags that she puts tiny little fishnet stockings on? Does bad lighting make her sad? mnknownWhat will she do when she turns sixty? Will she still try to be sizzling?

I heard she sleeps in a full-body moisturizer-lined body suit.  What does she do when her work day is over, after a long day of the bump and the grind? I imagined a secret stash of blueberries and rhubarb she made jam out of when no one was looking. A closetful of Clarks and Naturalizers that she gazed at longingly as she soaked her feet in a hot bath.

(photos: fanpop, jared.com, judiciaryreport.com, GoogleImages)

Ferencik, Erica (2013-04-25). Hot, Naked and Awake (Kindle Locations 161-163).


Waking Dream Press. Kindle Edition.

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THANKS for this Post, inspired by Morgan Callan Rogers on Cat Stevens (see below)

Penny2 is a regular commenter on the Celebrities in Disgrace blog.

My Intimate Hit List: The Power of Celebrities’ Music to Transport Us to Another Time by Penny2

Morgan Callan Roger’s beautiful essay about Cat Stevens reminded me of the power of celebrities’ music to transport us to another time.  Here’s my own personal hit list of my most transporting music memories:

**Madonna: This is really both a musical and a celebrity bonding.  Whenever Elizabeth Taylor passes away, I know I will call my mother to commiserate because Elizabeth Taylor is 3 years younger than my mother and has been a defining celebrity in my mother’s life–following each marriage, each movie.  Madonna has been mine–and like Mom, I don’t generally agree with all my chosen celebrity’s choices (A-Rod, now really!) but I will follow her for the rest of her (or my) life.

She is 6 years older than me but seems much closer in age to me (maybe because I have aged faster than she has!).  Material Girl is the song that defines 1984 and Halloween 1984 when a friend used my face as a canvas to truly, truly create Madonna–the hair, the bracelets, the make up, the whole effect.  Madonna MET Elvis that night–not really Elvis but a cross-dressed Elvis.  We all know that Madonna SHOULD have met Elvis.

**And Ray of Light–an amazing album that my husband and I listened to over and over and over again.  It came out the year we married, but we mostly listened to it when we had a toddler running around–it captures the frantic hyperactivity of a toddler boy in a way no other song ever has.

**The fastest I ever drove a car was along a stretch of Shea Boulevard in Scottsdale, Arizona listening to Born to Run. I was, maybe 23, had never had a ticket and was conservative in car driving behavior to say the least.  I looked down at my speedometer and was going 80!  I did not get a ticket.  If I hear Born to Run and am behind the wheel, I have to think “check yourself,” because I know that even today, at 46, it could easily happen again. (more…)

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Best Speeches: Mo’nique & Robert Downey Jr.

Best Quote from a Presenter: “Animation is not just for children; it’s for adults taking drugs” (Sir Paul McCartney)

Best Quote from a Winner: “This is for anybody and everybody who ever got a wedgie in high school” (the guy accepting for GLEE)

‘Bust’ Quote: Jay Manuel on E! commenting on Mariah Carey’s very visible ‘globes.’

Best/Bust Invention: The ‘Glam Cam 360,’ a somewhat scary virtual Lazy Susan that rotates hapless stars in their gowns onscreen while a snarky voiceover critiques every angle and ‘shoulder detail’…

Best Kiss: Longtime couple Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgewick; so what if they lost millions to Bernie Madoff; they’ve got happiness & hair that money can’t buy…

Best Dress: Loved Julianna Margulies in scarlet & black (& love the fact  that she starred in SLIGSHOT, a film co-written by the director of the forthcoming CELEBRITIES IN DISGRACE film, Matthew Quinn Martin…)  Also loved Anna Paquin in gold & Christina Hendricks of Mad Men in ‘peachy champagne’…

Best Trend: Celeb.s outdoing each other for a good cause, for a change. Madonna, Sandra Bullock led the way with stellar donations for aid to Haiti as George Clooney leads a star-studded  TELETHON on JAN. 22; stay tuned…
PS: A big THANKS to Rachel Robbins for reminding us that no Golden Globe coverage is complete without mention of Amanda Palmer and her antics, including a see-through dress and a ‘drop-dead’ routine on the red carpet.

Check out the essay on Amanda Palmer, GAIMANDA, by Ingrid Mansfield on our StarLit. page…

(photos- Mo’nique: realityTV.about.com; double Meryl:NYDailyNews)

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GOLDEN GLOBE ‘LIVE BLOG’ UPDATE: competition between stars is usually not pretty. But this week, the stars are outdoing each other for a good cause. Madonna kicked things off donating a quarter million dollars to aid for Haiti; Sandra Bullock donated one million.

Clooney shows his serious side organizing a TELETHON for JAN 22

And George Clooney may raise 100 million dollars with Clooney’s MTV TELETHON on JAN. 22— stay tuned.

As noted on the Celebrity Pulp blog: “Tiger Woods, although he is a cheat and a liar, is still a very generous person.”


This kindred spirit blog reports that Tiger is sending out a cargo plane and mobile health clinic to Port-Au-Prince.  Reportedly, Woods is considering more major aid initiatives.

But even with the best intentions, scandals can dog celebrity efforts.  Some recent reports question the Yele foundation and the efficiency of other celeb-driven charities; the best bets for donations may still be UNICEF and whitehouse.gov.

Still, in a tragedy of this magnitude, even the most ephemeral stars can make a big difference with big donations. Celebrity Pulp further reports:

“The Jolie-Pitt foundation will send $1M to help out, as Ben Stiller and Tea Leoni, UNICEFambassador, plan on going on sight in the next few days….It is also possible to donate $10 to the Red Cross by texting HAITI to the number 90999.”

Good info, good intentions and a rare good use of the $$ and powers of fame.

(Our own little celeb-obsessed blog doesn’t usually venture into this territory, but if even one passing blog reader uses the info. above, we tip our hat to Tiger and Celebrity Pulp and company.  Happy MLK Day Weekend…)

photos- Madonna: rapidshare-catalog.com; Clooney: kitmeout.com; Wyclef: googleimages

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